My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
