We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
