Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
