I got chris browned last night
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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