I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
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We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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