Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Panties = found
Randomize
