You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
