I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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