i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
