Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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