how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I think I sprained my soul last night
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
