I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
