omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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