she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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