My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
