you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
