Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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