No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
