Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize