i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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