i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I puked a lego.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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