At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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