Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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