Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
