Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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