Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
