I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
