Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?