Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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