when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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