Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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