The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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