Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
