Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
