Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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