How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
