He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
