He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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