ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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