Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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