My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
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