Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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