....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
