Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
