I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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