I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
