OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
