if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
