WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Mom said you looked used
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
