Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
