R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
