I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
