you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
