half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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