our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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