she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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