i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
