he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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