No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
