The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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