Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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