Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Never underestimate the power of titties
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
