I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
