I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
