Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
