I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just found a bag of teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize