I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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