I want to walk on stilts...naked
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Even my vagina gasped.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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