We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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