Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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