Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize