that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
