i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
