I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
